Last night, as I settled in for a dinner of warmed over pizza leftovers, I wondered: Who eats better–me or my pets?  After all, my dinner was jam-packed with carbs, fats and salt, while the Iams diet my dog, Friday, dined on had meat as its main ingredient. My four cats chow on Purina One or Fancy Feast, meanwhile, which, again, both have meat as the primary component.

So who gets to enjoy the finest dining in your abode? You, your cat, or your canine? I finally decided that since I’m usually too tired to cook anything when I get home from a long day’s work, I have two options: Either snag some take-out for the millionth time or fight it out with my girl Friday over who gets the healthier meal of Iams!!! The only problem? Since she’s been eating well, while I’ve been eating swill, she’d probably win the war over who gets access to the dog bowl!